I didn’t have a clear direction this week. Usually, when I write, I follow a structure. This time, I haven’t. I sat there, drained. Nothing came.
I wrote on Threads; I want my joy back from a very emotional time.
Not knowing what to write started affecting my joy, and I couldn’t figure out why. I usually like to see what I’m doing before I do it. I don’t like surprises unless it’s a birthday or Christmas present. But that week threw me off. I’d drifted from spending time with God; when that happens, I feel empty and lost. That connection is vital in my walk with Him. Without Him, I can’t do anything (John 15:5).
I thought it was just a distraction. Or tiredness. But what I didn’t realise was how much emotion I had buried. I felt that if I ignored it, it would go away. But it didn’t pass. It built up. And it started showing in my reactions, especially with my wife. I became defensive over things that didn’t need defence. I misread her tears, thinking I had failed or was to blame. I took it all personally. I didn’t realise I was still reacting from an old wound that was still open from years of emotional manipulation.
“You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other effects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness.”
When I suppress my feelings, it changes how I perceive people, affects how I see God, clouds my thoughts, and allows the enemy to twist things and wear me down.
“Ignoring our feelings doesn’t silence them; it just gives them more power to shape us in ways we don’t understand.”
Scripture makes this clear, too. The weight of unspoken sorrow, guilt, and unresolved emotion shows up in the body:
“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night, your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt… and you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”
Psalm 32:3-5 (NLT)
Even distractions aren’t always the issue. Sometimes, they reveal what’s still buried deep inside: the unhealed emotion, unresolved pain, and things we haven’t brought before God.
Last night before bed, my wife and I prayed. I didn’t know what to say, so I started by praising His goodness. Then I found myself praying into the root of it all, asking God to search my heart, and the healing began.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT)
Reflection
Take a moment to ask:
Is there something I’ve been feeling but haven’t talked to God about?
Where have my reactions revealed a deeper wound, and do I need healing from it?
What emotion have I been pushing down that God might want to bring into the light
If you’ve been feeling exhausted, it may be more than just surface-level issues. Perhaps God is gently prompting you to find some quiet time and share what truly weighs on your heart.
Confront your feelings; don't avoid them or try to push them away. Allow God's presence to comfort you during your pain, for within that struggle lies the potential for deep healing.
Press the link to read my new blog post on Healing Emotional Wounds for Spiritual Growth.
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